Teaching and Engineering Jokes and Videos
If you come across any good clean teaching jokes or videos, send them to me at jmc6@psu.edu.
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One day a professor was giving an exam to his students. He
handed out all of the exams and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the exam was over, all the students handed in their exams.
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a
$100 bill to his exam with a note saying "A dollar per point."
When the professor had graded the exams and handed them back,
that particular student got back his exam, along with $64 change.
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A professor gave a final exam in a very large lecture hall with hundreds of students. After the time was up, one student ignored the professor's orders to turn in his exam. Five minutes after all the other students had left the room, the professor told the remaining student to hand in his exam now or else he would get half credit. The student continued to ignore the professor. After another 5 minutes, the professor told him to hand in his exam or he would get only 25% credit. Once again, the student kept working on the exam, ignoring the professor. Finally, the professor said that if he did not turn in his exam immediately, he was leaving and the student would get a zero on the exam.
The student stood up, walked to the front, and asked the professor, "Do you know my name?"
The professor replied, "No."
"Good." replied the student. He stuffed his exam into the middle of the pile of exams, and ran out the door.
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An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his
dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon,
the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and
starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air
conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a
pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So,
how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning
and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this
engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he
should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm
keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are
YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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